"what does your tattoo mean?"
It means I wanted it so I fucking got it
i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically
STOP. This is the police, you’re under arrest for being too cute. Now, put your hands where I can hold them.